What think you of this poem?

Waiting For The Dance








Waiting for the storm.


Tornado warning.


Tornado alarm.





Mariah sleeps now.


Cloud-comforter nestled.


Tip-toe silence


Through the trees...





Baby's breath on


The highest leaves.





Mariah's gown waits


For her awakening...


She will slip it on,


Then trance dance...





Twisting, whirling


Down from the sky...


Marrying the Earth


With capricious lies.





Still. Too quiet.


Nothing moves.


I wait for the dance.


Mariah slowly wakens.





Elysabeth

What think you of this poem?
Interesting that some saw it as a lullaby...having been in a tornado, and being aware that 'they call the wind Mariah' I see it as and approaching storm. The speaker is waiting for the inevitable, in the still, too quiet (often an eerie green) when Mariah will don her gown (the funnel cloud) and all hell will break loose. I like it very much!
Reply:Mariah, the wind wears a gown and the twister becomes a dance, but the dance is a lie because it causes pain, not joy. The foreboding is in the last verse, "Mariah slowly wakens" and we wait in trepidation for what we know is about to happen. Congratulations! This one is special!
Reply:Very nice... It sounds (to me) like it's about an angel sleeping in the clouds before waking up for a journey down to Earth.
Reply:I'm happy to see others understood this was foreboding and not comforting.





In the way back I endured many tornado warnings. I was just a child and never understood why everyone was so upset and worried, after all, it was calm outside.





Looking back at those 43 year old memories, I get the same feeling of impending turmoil as I get reading this poem.





Well done.
Reply:when i read your first few poems, i must admit that i couldn't quite find the rhythm. now that i have read this one i went back and found it easily. this is a beautiful representation of nature. i love the line about the marriage to the earth. i don't know if this is what you meant, but to me, it was a wonderful way of explaining the tornado's' touchdown.





i have always loved tornado's... i don't like it when people get hurt but when a storm comes i have always said, "you cant help it so might-as-well enjoy it. it will do the same thing weather we panic or sit calmly."





this poem speaks of many thought i have already had but had forgotten. i hope you don't mind if i take a copy to read later to remind me of you.
Reply:ITS GOOD


AMAZING
Reply:Well done, very easily read, I could finish without tiring and the grammar is flawless, your imagery works quite well with your wording and I love the franness of your emotional thught for the reader well done again and keep up the great work, I will be watching for futher work, bye bye for now.
Reply:I'm not really a poem person but this was really nice to read, it's calm and soothing - a little like a spoken word lullaby.





It sort-of reminds me of children's novels from the 1900's where they convey the same sense of wonder and innocence.. not too sure how to put it but it's more like that than it's like Disney for example.





One thing and this is purely personal, I'm not a huge fan of the name Mariah (makes me think of Mariah Carey, lol!)





Do you have your poems published anywhere? I can see them bound in a leather book with lovely illustrations to read in a sunny part of the house, a hammock or just before bed-time with fresh breeze coming through the windows.





:)
Reply:I love this, and love the title. You have completely captured that exquisite expectancy of the impending storm.
Reply:I love this poem! It awakens all my senses, making it all alert on the spur of the moment! Well done!
Reply:It's very nice.
Reply:Although it has a nice ambiance and feel, it's far too stark, with little bone and too much meat.





And is unsatisfying, in that a reader never knows for sure if the impending storm ever arrives or not. Needs a different and more complete ending.





Alberich
Reply:good name for a storm ready to develop
Reply:I watch the Weather Channel too, you know...