Friday, November 13, 2009

My Poems are Old Fashioned. Are they enjoyable in modern society? Comments, please?

The Bud Vase





Upon my windowsill, there sits


a simple jar of glassy face


That come of late, I find it fits


to be a perfect small bud vase.


I stole a flower from my mum


-who had a bunch of flowers, so


I took the daffodils and some


scissors when she did not know.


And when she wasn’t looking, I


found the perfect little bud


I cut it, and I found inside


that flowers also bleed of blood.


Never ‘fore in all my days


(of stealing flowers not my own)


Did I so ever find Life plays


among the veins of flowers grown.


I cut its stem, and there it bled


green to tips of my fingers


And though the flower long is dead


the scent of its blood still lingers.


But so, to rid the vase of Death


I filled it for the job it suits;


Inside, I put some Baby’s Breath-


careful, this time, to keep the roots.





(copyright 2007)

My Poems are Old Fashioned. Are they enjoyable in modern society? Comments, please?
i love it....rhyme with a hint of meter.....short lines....succinct....good syntax......reminds me of emily dickinson


here....i wanna share a little of my old fashioned writings......





The Beast





Tattered, teetered, tossed, and tore,


the ship was battered, beaten more.


Fists of froth, the storm it threw,


and tossed and tore the craft anew.


Sputtered, spattered, spun and sprayed,


the ones on deck they bowed and prayed.


But the One, He did not heed


those of want and jealous greed.


Who were they, to try and own


the crests, the swells, the froth and foam?


Who were they, in their conceit


to try and tame His pet, His beast?


The water roared, it reared, it rained,


the beast it drowned, it killed, it maimed.


As if in rage, it did not care


for those it took, or those it spared.


Then at once, its anger spent


the lesson taught, it did relent.


The chosen sank into their grave


their headstone but a salty wave.


By and by, more will try


to capture, snare, and then will die.


In dark and cold the greed will cease


inside the belly of the beast.





old school is the best.....its what made us all become poets....keep on keepin on





JR
Reply:thank you.....i seriously doubt that......keep on keepin on Report It

Reply:i think it's pretty good
Reply:Old-fashion??? nuh-uh.... more like "timeless" LOL =) A classic!
Reply:Oh, I really like that! It's not too old fashioned- It's not like you're using archaic language to make it sound fancy or anything. It's got a nice, vintage quality. I like your imagery and style.The only thing I don't like is the rythm- but that's just personal preference. It's nice!
Reply:Its very good, i really like it.

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